EMWTTSFM and Not The Music and Arts Festival

The Grape Report Beginnings

The primary reason for going to the Westerville Music and Arts Festival is discovering a new artist or performer, and corn dogs.

It’s been years since I encountered an artist of genuine distinction—someone who could reimagine familiar ideas or transform a well-known technique into something unexpected. Unfortunately, this festival offered nothing of the sort. Much of what was on display appeared to be leftovers from last year: plebeian woodworking projects like cutting boards and children’s toys, uninspired landscape photographs of popular sightseeing spots, and, in one case, what could be described at best as craft jewelry. The overall effect was less a celebration of artistic innovation than a showcase of familiar, unremarkable wares.

Even the culinary offerings failed to redeem the experience. Last year marked the triumphant return of corn dogs after several seasons without them—a small but welcome nod to nostalgia amid the predictable fare. This year, however, the corn dogs were nowhere to be found. Instead, the food truck lineup offered French fries, burgers (and more burgers), a truck from a popular German-themed restaurant, frozen custard, popcorn and lemonade, and hot nuts. But without the corn dogs, it all felt incomplete, as though the festival had once again overlooked the simple pleasures that can make these events memorable.

Fortunately, at home, I had a package of hot dogs from Tier 3 Heritage Products at the Saturday Farmer Market. They became both a substitute for the missing corn dogs and a way to artistically express myself for dinner.

In the top row from left to right are a dog with mustard garnished with Stilton and Gloucester cheeses, a chili dog with cheese and jalapenos, a dog with vinegar-based cole slaw, and a dog with classic cole slaw.

In the bottom row, all the songs were triple-sliced on the bias and pan-fried in butter and bacon grease. They are, from left, a hot dog with mustard and ketchup, with relish, with spicy bread and butter pickles, and with chopped jalapeno.

The Corn Dog Is King

Don’t misunderstand, these beef hot dogs are no substitute for a good corn dog. They’re not even a substitute for a mediocre corn dog. They would have made great corn dogs. They are great hot dogs. I’m stuck on corn dogs.

I’ve suggested to arrange with the funnel cake folks next year to cook corn dogs beside their dough in their cast iron pans. All I have to do is bring the speared dog and the batter. I can do that.

That would be a new artistic experience at the Music and Arts Festival. Corn dogs and funnel cakes.

The Green Grape Report

Food Review by Gary Gardiner

Someone asked this week, “Why green grapes?” Below is the reason I posted in the first Green Grape Report on January 16, 2025.

This is a new feature for The Westerville News, where Photographer/Editor Gary Gardiner will continue his lifelong fascination with green grapes. The obsession began as a young boy when his family would travel from their home in Gainesville, FL, to Crescent Beach for a weekend with too much sun, perfect waves for body surfing, and the Sunday sunrise greeting the calm morning.

One of the trip's highlights was stopping at a small farmer’s market near Palatka to buy green grapes. The grapes were a “keep calm, quiet, and respectful” travel reward. My brother and sister got their choice of fresh fruit as their reward. I always chose green grapes.

Today, when walking into a grocery store, customers are presented with a fully stocked fresh food section with a broad spectrum of fruits and vegetables. What once was a seasonal selection is now available every day. With more than 61,000 grocery stores in the country, that’s a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables delivered every day. At Kroger on Maxtown, staff replenishes the stock more than a dozen times a day.

The Green Grape Report Continues

I got two of my four wishes Sunday. The grapes are larger and firmer than last week. They continue to be not as sweet as desired, and the price is still high despite a shorter shipping distance from Mexico.

Meijer - Polaris Parkway

Brand -Divine Flavor with a dark-haired, green-winged cherubic character logo. From Mexico.
Price - $2.50 a pound
Appearance - Bright color with dark spot flaws. Tight-skinned and firm to the touch.
Size - Uniformly shaped. Each grape weighs about 9.3 grams, based on the average of 10 grapes. This week’s grapes are more round than previous weeks, with the length being an average of 25cm and a diameter of 24 mm
Crispiness - Solid with a snap at biting.
Taste - Ordinary. Slightly sweet. No bitterness.
PLU Code: 4022.

The Review

If I weren’t doing The Green Grape Report each week, I wouldn’t be buying grapes. They are exceptionally ordinary in flavor, with the explosion of flavor and firmness being the only pleasures. They are not sweet, not cheap, and only one green grape variety in all the grocery stores. The ability to have fresh grapes 12 times a day at Kroger doesn’t mean much if they’re not worth the time, money, and gas to travel to stores searching for the exceptional.

The Westerville News is a reader-supported publication by Gary Gardiner, a lifelong journalist who believes hyper-local reporting is the future of news. This publication focuses exclusively on Westerville—its local news, influence on Central Ohio, and how surrounding areas shape the community.

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